Lost And Stucked

You are just what i needed

☮something that we have to learn to accept

Date: Monday, December 13, 2010
Time: 1:37 AM

Life moves fast and i aint giving any shit no more. Enough is enough like seriously. I'm not gonna be nice like i used to be, cox i'm tired of always getting fucked all over. I dont even wanna tell my secrets or anything personal and that explains i'm not trusting anybody cox they'll smile after that and when they do behind that fake smile lies that backstabbing bitch. I dont mind getting far away from people cox in the end they'll still be leaving then why should i bother? I changed not to be any nicer or any meaner. I'll be in the middle of it cox what i know is every girl's a bitch even those you're close with, you used to trust on whoever cox the fact is everybody never speaks the truth but always talk shits. And lets just face it. Everyone has changed whether in the starting, middle or ending of school. We're all going different directions. Broken hearts and fucked up friendship. Somehow somewhere we gotta start searching for a new love new friends and we'll no longer hang out with the usual cliques no more that we actually thought there's gonna be 'friends forever' We've all changed. Either for the better or the worse.

And despite all these things in life i've planned myself to get over on things that should have done a long time ago ; that is getting over him. He doesnt worth anything thats mine. Yes everyone knows that i love him like some mad cow and i really cant imagine seeing myself with someone other than him. Yes i'm exactly over there. But why should i sit at home cry in the middle of the night and just waiting for him to just at least text me when i know that he doesnt even am thinking bout me. Yes, it hurts me seeing him talking to other girls falling in and out for them and one day i'll have to be prepared, whether i am or not seeing him holding, squeezing, kissing his new girlfriend. And he's gonna do it a little more tighter just becox i'm there seeing everything cox he knows it kills me. Yes i still wanna be friends with him, but do i even wants it? Cox all he'll talks about is how great and amazing his new girlfriend is and make me jealous. And i simply doesnt wanna hear it. I've to move on, be with another guy other than him. And when he sees me with someone thats not him, he'll feel sorry all those things he did to me and especially the time he let me go.. He'll realize that he made a huge mistake when he actually decided to choose that girl rather then me when he actually thought that he never love me the same anymore. So i'll not be spending my nights staying up so late just to get a missed call that will never ring, a text message that will never be received cox i know he just wanna ignore me, so why should i be bothered then? He'll ignore me, pretend that he doesnt see me cox he knows anywhere inside me its killing me. Yes its gonna hurt very much but it'll hurt me even more when i'm actually loving someone that's loving someone else. This is all going to hurt..
Knowing that my cute face aint gonna be on his phone anymore, i'll not be that person who used to spend my every moment with him, i'm not that girl whom he'll be talking to on the phone late night its gonna kill real bad. But after few days months years of waiting my phone will go on blinking hoping that he's texting me saying that he wanted me back. But i trusted myself, even if he wanted to get back with me, he wont tell me and at that moment of time i'll realised that he doesnt care bout me anymore. And sooner or later when i'm upset he's not that first person whom he always had been to be called by me. I'll prepare myself cox he's no more gonna be the one putting a smile on my face. Yes its gonna hurts alot but i gotta hang on a little tighter and hold my head up and show him i'm actually better off without him and i was wrong to think that i need him in my life which actually i really dont. And one fine day, he's gonna feel so bad cox he made the biggest mistake of his life which is letting me go, and i'm gonna prove to him that i actually dont need him anyway. YES I'M READY TO FACE ALL THESE EVEN IF ITS GONNA TAKE A WHILE TO BE HAPPY AGAIN.

XOXO SRI HERLINA

SOONER OR LATER MY LIFE STILL HAVE TO CHANGE.

Labels: its been shitzxc.